By Annie Heath, Staff Writer
The summer heat blazes on the Outer Banks, but for some, this season means more than fun days at the beach. Along with the heat comes the catcalling. Invasive remarks. The creepy feeling of the eyes of older men scanning over your body, leaving you with the thought that maybe this beach day wasn’t your best idea.
Then there’s the dieting, working out and cutting food. Hiding your body even though you’re sweating in your oversized T-shirt and denim shorts. The need to fit the perfect bikini-body standard.
Girls all over the world experience the harsh reality of feeling judged for their bodies and objectified for their appearance. However, living in a small beach town just amplifies the whispers around sexual harassment and even sexual assault. At the same time, living on the Outer Banks puts pressure on many to work toward an “ideal” body type.
Beach days here in the summer are a constant. But it proves difficult not to let your eyes wander to others’ bodies and see how they compare to yours.
A student, who requested anonymity and will be referred to as Mia to speak candidly about body image issues, expressed having a hard time not comparing herself to others on her beach days.
“I don’t see myself looking like a lot of the girls I see on the beaches most of the time,” Mia said.
Mia described that even hanging out with her friends and people she loves makes her view her body differently. Their frequent working out makes her feel like she needs to push herself even more than she already does.
“I start to think about whether or not I’m doing enough, or the same amount that they are doing, to be able to look the way that they do,” Mia said.
Mia explained that she starts working out in the spring in an attempt to fit the “standard.”
The standard that Instagram sets. That models set. That even your best friend sets when she posts a bikini picture. The perfect bikini-body standard. The expectation that, as a girl in a bathing suit, you must have the body that society adores. That you must be as skinny and shaped as every model, social media influencer and friend who surrounds you.
It’s that expectation that shifts the way Mia views her body as the warmer weather comes around.
Bri Young, owner of the local business Outer Surf, noted how easy it has become through Instagram to be influenced by others about your body.
“I think (it adds) so much more pressure. We constantly have this magazine in our hands at all times where you can see the best sides of people, the best angles. And you feel insecure, you feel not enough,” Young explained.
Through Outer Surf, Young has worked to create a safe and inclusive surf environment for girls – one she wishes she could have had growing up.
“I remember being a teenage girl: Other girls are not always the nicest and there’s a lot of pressure on you in the society we grow up in to maintain a certain look,” Young said.
Young wants girls to recognize that it is crucial to accept their body and love it for how it is, and to know that their worth is more than skin deep.
“Don’t stress too hard. Don’t think too hard about how you look and don’t place your value on how you look,” Young said. “Because as you grow older, you’ll realize the most important things are what you get joy out of, who you are as a person and your character.”
But the struggles of living on the Outer Banks don’t stop at body image.
Something that’s rarely acknowledged, but ever-so-prevalent in this beach town, is the objectification that happens.
The catcalling that pursues girls as they walk along the beach road. The over-sexualization of guys and girls alike in their swimwear. Things that are waved off as normal – but really aren’t.
“I think down here especially, there’s college guys coming down and they see girls and think they’re a lot older than what they are,” Young said. “And I think young girls feel like they have to just be quiet and accept it. But you don’t. The way older men talk to you and treat you just because they’re older than you isn’t OK.”
Mia expressed similar thoughts.
“I feel like girls that are between 15 and 17 tend to look older. So people thinking that (the girls) are older might have a play in it,” Mia said. “I feel like people almost consider it human nature to stare at people like that even though it makes girls uncomfortable.”
As the temperature climbs, the clothing options decline. Guys walk through town shirtless and wearing board shorts. Girls throw on a bikini top and a pair of shorts. This is normal on hot OBX summer days. But too often they feel the need to cover their bodies because of the judgmental glance they receive from a friend or family member, or the suggestive comment yelled at them from a van passing by.
But, it’s normal right? Just part of growing up in a beach town?
What about when the unwanted comments escalate to unwanted actions?
According to the National Sexual Violence Research Center, 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police, and eight out of 10 rape cases involved someone the victim knew. Take that information and think about it in a small town. A small town where everyone knows everyone. A small town with a connected and tight community.
A small town that is mostly quiet about sexual violence.
On the Outer Banks, the chance that a sexual assault is committed by someone the victim knows or is friends with is strong. They could have grown up with that person and built a friendship with them and their friends.
A student who will remain anonymous and be referred to as Emily has been a victim of this herself.
“It’s such a tight-knit community and that can be a good thing in a lot of instances when someone needs support,” she said. “But the tight-knit community can also mean that people don’t see the problem with mistreating people close to them.”
Since everyone is close in this town, and friend groups are huge, she often felt like she couldn’t reach out because of the backlash and disbelief she would get, even to this day.
“If you say that someone did something to you, (that person) will always have people to back them up and say that they didn’t – no matter the situation, no matter proof, evidence, anything. No matter the emotional damages, people will always take sides,” Emily said. “These are people you grew up with. These are people you’ve known your whole life. And it just feels like there’s no outlet, there’s nothing you can do.”
She noted that growing up in this small town enables you to become significantly close with someone, along with their friends and family. You grow close to them, and they can grow to feel entitled to your body.
Emily said that the Outer Banks isn’t underrepresented when it comes to sexual assault – the crimes just point-blank aren’t talked about because the victims can feel trapped. What is there to do if whoever will listen also happens to be friends with that person, and refuses to believe that they would cross those boundaries? If the person who took advantage of you has a support system, including some of the people you know, to fall back on?
It pushes the victim into silence, as it did for Emily. Suppressing their emotions, self-hate and guilt. A common theme among those struggling with body image, objectification and becoming victims of sexual assault. And not only girls become victims of these haunting subjects.
These issues become pushed away because it happens so often in the Outer Banks summer. Quieted sometimes simply because of this close community we thrive in. But no matter how often the catcalls, stares and unwanted advances come each summer, it’s important to remember that these issues should never be accepted as normal.
“You’re not an object. You’re not just this shiny, pretty thing,” Young said. “You are a human with feelings and ambitions. Your worth is more than just how you look.”
Junior Annie Heath can be reached at 24heathan45@daretolearn.org.
