By Kira Walters, News Editor
Everyone feels sad. It is a common emotion felt by every individual at some point in their life. The concern, however, is when depression becomes so overwhelming that you feel like you’re in the dark with no one to help you out. That is when suicide becomes a greater risk.
“Shattering the Silence” is a documentary made in order to raise awareness about suicide in Dare County. The film was brought together by the Breaking Through Task Force, the Saving Lives Task Force, Be Resilient OBX and the Dare County Department of Health & Human Services. The documentary introduced people in our community with experience with suicide and its traumatic effects, either personal or with family members.
“Suicide attempts and suicidal ideations are probably the greatest cry for help a person can make,” said Wally Overman, Vice-Chairman of Kill Devil Hills.
On Sept. 27, a number of local healthcare professionals and county officials joined together at First Flight High School for a viewing of the documentary and question-and-answer session.
“The purpose of the town hall this evening is to bring awareness to this issue and to make everyone aware of the resources available for those affected and to provide information regarding prevention,” Overman said.
According to the most recent Dare County Community Health Needs Assessment, suicide is the eighth-leading cause of death in Dare County with a rate of 19.3%. North Carolina’s overall suicide rate is only 13.4%.
This could be for a variety of reasons – one being the lack of access to mental health resources due to financial problems. A local mother, whose son died by suicide, highlighted these issues in our community when she addressed the panel in the auditorium.
“I suggested counseling, but he would always say, ‘Mom, I have to work, I have to pay the bills, there is nothing for people at night. If I call and miss the appointment by 10 minutes, I have to wait a month for another appointment,’ ” she recalled. “These were the struggles I heard from him trying, in this county, to get help.”
The price of mental health care in general is expensive, and for many people in Dare County who live on a seasonal income, getting help is simply unrealistic.
“Suicide is real. There needs to be something in this county for people who do work and don’t have the option to take off because they might get fired or something that is affordable because they can’t make ends meet,” the mother said. “The end result could lead to suicide if they don’t get that help immediately.”
If you have a friend or family member that you believe is at risk of suicide, it is important to simply be there for them. Asking questions and asking if they are OK is not always the best option. Sweet Pea Tillett, who appeared in the documentary, addressed this from her own experience with her husband’s suicide.
“When someone asked me a question, I was thinking about, ‘Well, what do they want me to say?’ ‘How do they want me to say it?’ Do I need to dot every i and cross every t when I’m speaking?’ Just let it come. You aren’t supposed to feel like you did something wrong,” Tillett said. “It’s more about letting them open up to you than trying to know how someone is feeling at that time.”
While “Shattering the Silence” highlighted the experiences of some, every case is different. There isn’t necessarily a list of symptoms for what a suicidal person may experience or a way to know when someone is experiencing those feelings.
“I don’t think we can narrow it down to how someone is supposed to feel when their time has come,” Tillett said. “Sometimes you don’t understand why a person would decide not to battle anymore, and we all battle in different ways. Sometimes we want to battle, sometimes we don’t want to battle. We just don’t know where that person is at that time in their life.”
Even though it is not always easy to help someone who is having suicidal ideations, or to get help when you are experiencing those feelings, it is essential that whoever is in this situation does get help. Even if it is simply finding someone who can be there for them.
“Those types of feelings can flare at any given time. Just be patient with that person. Just say, ‘You know what, I got you,’ ” Tillett said.
The goal of this documentary was to portray how serious mental health and suicide are in Dare County, but now, there must be solutions. It is extremely important to get help, not only if you notice a loved one expressing these feelings, but to get yourself help if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideations.
“They are in the dark, and it puts you in the dark,” Tillett said. “It’s one of those things that you have to work with and not be afraid to go get therapy and to talk to someone to help you understand what you’re going through.”
Junior Kira Walters can be reached at 24walterski77@daretolearn.org.
