Infamous cult-favorite “The Bachelor” aired it’s season 21 premiere last Monday leaving viewers in for a wild ride. I mean, how could you possibly top a girl in a “dolphin” costume? (It was actually a shark.) After three incredibly unsuccessful seasons, Nick Viall and apparently the rest of the United States believe that the fourth time’s the charm. However if you’re going on TV to find love in just six weeks it’s pretty much doomed to fail — and fail does rhyme with Viall — so I think we see the problem here.
Just a side note: Nick is 36 years old, and is often ten or more years older than the girls. All of these women seem to have pretty similar traits. They’re all in their 20’s, almost all white with little diversity, and all seem desperate to find “the one” A.S.A.P. The first episode showcased the good, bad and rather bland women that will make this season as interesting for viewers as it will be for Viall himself.
The “good,”meaning they are honestly too pure and regular to be on this show, include: Vanessa Grimaldi: A special needs teacher who also just so happens to be fluent in three languages. Next, there’s neonatal nurse Danielle Maltby who seems to be incredibly sweet and kindhearted just another reason why she’s too good for Nick.
Then there were the girls we all questioned — the ones who seemed a little bit too out there — such as Elizabeth Whitelaw, whom which Nick has already met and “spent the night” with after a wedding of another bachelor couple, and she cannot stop talking about it. Finally, we have Corinne Olympios: The self-proclaimed millionaire-businesswoman that still has a nanny at age 24 and vows to do whatever it takes to get Nick.
Week two multiplied the hot mess by at least ten. It immediately launched into intense make-out sessions and the ever-so-present cattiness of women all fighting for the same below average man. This all spawned from an incredibly cliché wedding photo shoot where the contestants dressed up in cringey costumes, such as a shotgun bride, Adam and Eve and ‘80s getup.
Next, add in our favorite girl-next-door villain Corinne who felt the overwhelming need to remove her bikini from her beach wedding themed shoot. What she did next was a little too risque to actually write about, so I suggest looking it up. It made all of the other girls incredibly uncomfortable and only added to the pre-existing tension.
Later, Corinne aggressively stole Nick at the cocktail party until Taylor was able to put an end to it. However Corinne did go into a drunken rant on how the situation was only going to get more uncomfortable, making the other girls dislike her even more (and who could blame them.) Ultimately Corinne did get a rose, but don’t fret.
For the first one-on-one date Nick chose Danielle M. The two went on a corny, average, bachelor esq. helicopter ride over Hollywood, and landed on a mega yacht. At dinner, (where we never see the two actually eating) things took a turn when Danielle confided in Nick. She told him of a past relationship where her fiance died, and that seemed to make their bond stronger. This actually gave me hope for the future, but honestly how real could these relationships be anyway?
Later, Elizabeth “Liz” finally told Christen about her one night stand with Nick, and then decided to make it into a big deal at another group date where the girls had to “breakup” with Nick. Her “breakup” was incredibly real, she even went the extra mile of writing and delivering a true speech. This forced Nick to realize she more than likely went on the show for publicity and he sent her home before the rose ceremony. Nick then confessed his previous relationship with Liz to the other girls, while dressed in a camo shirt might I add. How sexy. Week two ended on a cliff-hanger showing the almost immediate deterioration and release of some pent-up emotions on the woman’s part. Who knows how this season will end up, can we even make it to week three?
